thankful day one

I awoke this morning in excruciating pain from the inflammation of my sinuses and lungs. The pressure behind my eyes and ears bearing down against my self-control, and yet it's November 1st.

Our family traditionally counts down to Thanksgiving making a list of all the blessings in our life at the start of November. Most are fun or silly. A few reflective.

*sigh*

It's hard to dig deep when pain has dulled my thinking, weakened my resolve, and each breath takes frustrating effort.

Today I am thankful for the pain.

It drives me to God.

No food or medicine, doctor or naturopath - nothing has been able to bring an end to the burning, spiking, dull, throbbing, steadfast pains and weakness associated with this disease.

Instead, I have to look past this life.

I have to focus on the Hope of heaven.

My pain and disease remind me that we live in a sin cursed world. With each wheezy breath I am reminded of the shallow choices we make in a life lived without God.

To Him I surrender my pain, my will, and ultimately my hope.

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