A New Dream

I think He’s doing it again - speaking to me in my dreams. I don’t clearly understand what to do. Please read with a prayerful heart, and tell me what you think. Perhaps I am being too sensitive, or perhaps you may help make things clear for me.

I lay down this afternoon to try to gather up strength before we spend time together tonight as a family. I had two things strongly on my mind before I slept.

The first was prompted by a book I’ve been reading which briefly alluded to the ills and excesses of the gilded age, and the mistreatment of the immigrant and the resulting deadly poverty of many children. The protagonist of the story acknowledges that something must be done, but does not seem to take any direct action so far as I have read.

I was also thinking about my son. I can never explain to anyone what joy fills my heart when I see him. I think about the miserable pregnancy I survived with him, and how he fought for life in the womb - my little survivor. His mere breathing fills me with joy. I fell asleep looking at his pink cheeks softened by sleep, and I felt peaceful.

Immediately upon falling asleep I felt an aggressive seizing of my attention. The dream felt erratic. I was at a hotel with my family, and in a separate room was my friend Cheryti and her family.

My husband moved the refrigerator in our room, and discovered beneath it a large hole leading into another room. I asked him if he felt it was safe to stay there with the hole in our room, and he responded only if you feel comfortable letting the enemy in to kill, steal, and destroy.

We walked down to the lobby to check out and complain, and there was a disturbance. An armed man ran through the hotel lobby, and my children were not near me. I was so afraid I ran out front after my children. I discovered the armed man was holding a gun to one of Cheryti’s children. (I have to stop and say it wasn’t truly one of her five children, but one of the children in her Ohana ministry.)

I began wailing. I chased him down and pulled the child out from his grasp. He began chasing my own children, and as I looked around the parking lot there were children everywhere of every color. They were crying out to me in so many languages I felt dizzy from overstimulation. I understood all of them. They were crying from so many dangers. I began snatching children close to me herding and sheltering them. Then everything began to swirl (I actually think this is because I have a wretched migraine in real life), and a stern almost angry voice commanded “Help the children Dee Dee.”

And then I woke up. All the nerves of my body tingling and hurting, my throat swelling, a migraine oppressing.

Did I push my self too far before sleeping? I am prone to worry. Is God speaking to me?

I prayed and asked God immediately if there was something wrong with Cheryti’s five children, and I felt immediately that he spoke to me no.

I then prayed and asked whether this dream was from him, and I cannot be as certain, but I felt perhaps he said “it is me.”

I then prayed and asked what could this mean? Do you want me to be a foster mother or adoptive mother? And I felt nothing. No voice. No assurance.

And then as I sat and let my nerves (literal nerves not my sensibilities) reset I keep hearing the refrain “speak out for the children.”

I am distressed. I don’t know if this is all in my head. I rather suspect not. But I honestly don’t know what children, and what needs to be said.

Please if you have wise advice, counsel, or interpretation I’d like to hear from you.

1 comment

AJ said...

In my experience, when the Lord asks us to do something, He wants us to be aware of it and do our part, but will provide a way.
Perhaps, there is something He wants you to do but you haven't found it yet. He teaches line upon line. This could be the first part. Having this in your mind might help your recognize an opportunity He will put in your path. Just stay in tune and be aware, ask Him to help you in your life be led to the paths He wants you to take and you will recognize the moment when it comes.