Tagged for 15 Thoughts

1. If I did not sense God's divine and specific plan for my life, I *think* I would be content to spend my days arranging flowers at a small florist shop in a big city, or rusticating in a musty used book store in the middle of nowhere.

2. I prefer a used copy of a book to a new one. I feel a strong connection to strangers when I see a passage underlined, or a question mark in a margin. I would dearly love to have an old Bible that has been marked, commented in, cried over, and pondered about as thoroughly as my own.

2. I have journaled at least once a week since I started the second grade. The day I brought my daughter home from the hospital I burned 18 years worth of diaries. I finally acknowledged some things are better left in the past.

3. People typically love me or hate me without bandying about in between. Since a very young age, I have found myself able to love even the most unlovely person.

4. It annoys me when people tell me to be optimistic as if it is some cosmic force affecting my situation. Spare me. I am content to acknowledge reality as it is, and to find comfort in my God and the Hope of Heaven.

5. I worry that finding balance prevents achieving greatness.

6. I wish I could have flowers in my house more often. They create a sense of feminism, romance, and connection to nature that I cannot otherwise replace.

7. Since becoming a mother, I find that few things really embarrass or surprise me much. Then my daughter announces the lady sitting next to her has an ENORMOUS BOOTY to a room full of people, and I find myself experiencing both.

8. My favorite character in Little Women has always been Beth. I would rather die young, loved, and sweet in spirit than loud, brash, and conflicted. Can Jo ever become Beth?

9. I find so few people want to hear my testimony. They would rather I wade about in filth with them, than share in the redeeming cleansing Peace and Hope I have experienced. It truly baffles me.

10. I would rather read than eat, sleep, or breathe.

11. When I read a book, I cover every word from the publication page to the afterward. I'm often lost in pondering a forward or dedication for hours before I can fully enter the story.

12. Sundays used to be my favorite day of the week because it was the only day we got the newspaper. I would start with the comics (certainly where I picked up my keen sense of the humor in life), and then pour over every page wondering at this scary and exciting world that we live in. I would mourn with the obituaries and rage with political editorials as best my prepubescent mind could understand. I genuinely have no idea what this says about me.

13. I'd like to see the word blackmail changed to whitemail as in - threatening to bring substantially true info to light unless demands are met.

14. I have never been good at cutting with scissors.

15. I am rarely persuaded by others passion or argument. I often wonder if this reflects more on me as the receiver or others.

An Update After my Appointment

Thank you for all the prayers this week. I went to the doctor today, and it was a good appointment.

This is a bit TMI for some, but so many of you have been asking that I thought I'd do one big note.

I did not end up having to do a chest x-ray or CT scan which brought me so much relief. My oxygen levels were improved, low blood pressure was better, the kidney infection is cleared, the baby's fluid levels are normal again, the sinus infection seems to be "responding" to antibiotics, and I am coughing up less and less blood. I continue to be dehydrated, but I was given a couple rounds of IV fluids, and I am feeling much improved. 

The sinus/ear infection hasn't eased up, but the color seems to be getting clearer, and the doctor thought this was encouraging. So I am starting a new round of a different antibiotic tomorrow. It was described to me as "stronger than we'd normally put a pregnant woman on, but this is a calculated risk we need to take." I am a little discouraged about that, but I am thankful to be breathing without fear that my next breath won't be enough. 

In ten days (give or take a weekend) I'll be re-evaluated, and if the infection is still gripping me I will be seeing a new ENT that deals with pregnant patients and go from there. 

As for Thumper, I got to hear the heartbeat and have an ultrasound today. Before we began the U/S technician told me not to ask her about the gender because she would not be guessing or informing me today. I almost broke down and begged as I watched her smile during her scans. Does that mean boy? Could it be a girl? Ooooooooooh I just can't tell. What I do know is Thumper's home seems to be a safer and more healthy place this week, and I owe that solely to the only God, my Father, who hears my cry. 

We scheduled the gender ultrasound for February 18th, and I have to shyly admit I have started to hope it's a boy. I would so love to have a baby Michael, but I'll be equally happy if this turns out to be a bosom friend for my Sofie. 

Please continue to pray for me as I go through this next round of antibiotics - for peace of mind for Michael and I, a strong faith, a healed body, and a healthy baby. 

Love to you all, Dee Dee and Thumper whose heart beats at a steady rate of 158. 

January Update

Hello all. Just a quick post. Please please pray for me. I have a sinus infection that won't go away, and the doctors don't think there is anything else they can do until baby is born. It is causing my morning sickness to be so much worse than normal, and I am constantly dehydrated.

I have some pictures of the last couple of months to share. :)

Sofie dressed herself up, and told me she was going to the store to buy ice cream, and would I like I anything? 

Sofie was a lion for Halloween, even though I wanted her to be a lady bug. Her hair does seem a bit lionish though. :)

Trick or Treating with Daddy. Our neighborhood was sadly childless. 
Pouting for candy. 
These pictures are from our family Thanksgiving with Michael's family. These are Jennifer's boys Austin and Wesley. They're so handsome. :)
A quick picture with their Grammy.
This was taken Thanksgiving day. Sofie is sitting with Cheryti's dad showing off her love of music. :) 

I think she made me read this book to her 10 times on the drive home from FL. 
A sweet doll from Sofie's great-grandmother. She has since done everything she can to change the dolls clothes, but the are sewn right onto the doll. 
My sister openly showing how much she loves one of her Christmas gifts. 

The pink shirt we got Tracy, and Sofie showing off her noise maker toy.
The tall brother. Seriously, what are you 6'2" now? I think you're a whole foot taller than me!
Baby brother relaxing on the couch where the poor pregnant lady was supposed to be sitting.

Tracy showing off his skills on his favorite Christmas present.
He's still working on those skills...

Finally, this is my house yesterday. Sofie and I were very surprised and delighted to find icicles hanging off all the trees.

That's it for now. Please please pray for my healing. Love to you all, Dee Dee